pour down.

it started out with a drive to rent and return a few films. as i walked down the drive my rain coat was gathering water. the tornado warning had past, but the rain was just beginning. i made my way on urbandale and as i drove the water was being shot from my tires six feet in the air. the windshield wipers were working hard as i came around the bend and in front of me was a trash can it was most likely strewn there in the middle of the street from a heavy gust of wind earlier. i came to stop and stepped out of the car. ankle deep in water i carried the can on to the side of the street and put down. the rental store was well lit and few patrons occupied the space. it took me only a few minutes to find some things and off i went, back to the down pour. in that short time the rain had picked up dramatically. the wipers were facing an unfair fight as the rain continued to hammer down.

i just drove. quiet. soft. slow. content.

i made it home and decided i wasn’t going to waste a night like this. i stepped back outside and walked. i just walked. my galoshes were bare feet. a rain coat and shorts. i walked the streets. the night would become noon day for a fraction of a second as the lighting filled the skies. shortly after the thunder would rattle my chest and i would be pleased with that.

the corner of 41st pl. and urbandale had a foot and half of water. i waded for a while and my thoughts were interupted. i know it hasn’t been that long since katrina, but the images captured me. and i was held captive with the thought of me enjoying this occasion and the thought of those in new orleans dreading the occasion.

the grass was a sponge. i walked down the median [i walked on the grass that was covering those old train tracks] and i just strolled. i would stop and look up. i would see every inch of the sky being taken over by the rain. i saw grey. i saw blues.

nights like these are life giving. i don’t have any giant break through. i don’t have a new thought or idea. but i have breath. i have a sense of cleansing . i have sweat pants and sweat shirt. i have candles and tea. i have something.

i ended up in the front lawn. i collapsed. i said thank you. i said sorry. i said i was mad. i said i was tired. i said i was done. i said i wanted to be gone. but i sighed. it was a sight that reached from the bottom of my stomach until it reached the top of my lungs and couldn’t be contained. i laid on my back and tried to open my eyes. i tried to see every drop fall from the heavens.

it came down tonight. it reached deeper then the soil. it did more then soak the earth.

i’ve tasted.

foy vance – i was made

i came round to the truths I found
i threw down all the chains that bound me
i was made for loving you

well I skulked around a drunken swine
took your heart and gave you mine
you’re the song that I sing to

i left you hanging all alone
threw my stench upon your throne
after all that you’d been through