grating my thumb.

tonight i was grating cheese for my dinner and i slipped and took a gnarly chunk out of my left thumb.

i began to think…

i am glad when i am depressed i don’t feel like cutting myself, i would rather get comfortable in a hooder[or 2] and drink something warm, mostly coffee. so that is what i am doing. just sitting in my favourite shop, mars and sitting on the leather couch listening to mostly folk and just liking the biting cold outside.

i am tired these days. there isn’t much motivation left in this body. school is almost done and i don’t feel the pressure and anxiety i should.

i guess it is just due to the fact that i want to be done.

and it doesn’t help that i have ethopia on my mind.

i am spending 6 weeks there this summer.

man, i am excited.

i am excited that this oppurtunity has been placed in my life. i just want to help and i am tired of talking about it and not doing.

to get my hands dirty, to be stretched, to be poked and uncomfortable. i am ready to weap at what i see and i am ready for god to break me down. break me down in the best possible way. i need that. i am way to comfortable in my hoodies and the warmth of my laptop[on my lap]. i am tired of not giving enough and getting way too much.

happy winter.

i will be back with more constructive thouhts later.

phillip